The Window Seat

Disclaimer: The following blog post contains personal events. I kindly request the readers to avoid any kind of questions or statements with respect to the incidents that are mentioned below. 

The moment I fell down and had tremors, I was sure, absolutely sure about the one who holds me. I was sure that He would never let this soul be tormented forever. Even the sight of that tiny button lying on the floor gave me painful memories on what I witnessed a few days ago.  Sometimes I wonder how good it is to have this unshakeable faith in Christ. But sometimes I wish, I had a small bit of faith, atleast. But the truth is, that's not how it works. I knelt down and prayed hoping that God would soon bring light into my darkness.

True friends value you, respect you and feels for you. They won't judge you, blame you or contempt you. They'll always make time for you. When you find friends like that, hold on to them. She had always been a blessing in my life, a treasure. She weeps with me when I'm heartbroken and laughs with me until both our tummies hurt. Though we are miles apart, daily calls doing our own things with our videos on - helps us stay connected. That day after the incident, She was the only person I could run to, then. I rushed to my table, called her on video and cried my heart out. Being in her presence comforted me. It was then that she reminded me of something. "The day you've been waiting for is right around the corner. Leave this all behind, straighten the crown and go pack your bagpack", She said. 

Little did I know that the upcoming two weeks would bring such bliss and beauty into my life. 3 states, 10 days, 3 missions and 300 new faces. Solitude never makes me lonely, unless it turns into isolation. The first mission made it's way to the The Student Conference which was just an excuse. My heart was really set on exploring the city and meeting my new niece and nephew. There's nothing sweeter than hearing their little voices attempting to call me "Vavaunty", like tiny bells chiming out their own special language. 

The next few days were the best days of my life. The journey to the next destination began with what I once could only dream of. I was finally getting to travel by the window seat on the upper deck of a double-decker train – solo – another goal checked off the list! Travelling on your own, watching beautiful hilltops sliding through the window pane while watching the rain outside becoming reminders of His blessings. I was leaving to the next state. That means, for the next few days I'll be staying with my siblings. Since my sister's wedding last year, we're a family of four now. It was then that I felt heaven on earth that overwhelmed me with peace, serenity and the warmth of love all around me. Preparing meals together, night drives, movies, trying different cuisines and the most beautiful of all, praying together, all these felt like a dream. For me, my sister is my second mother and sometimes we exchange the roles of mom and daughter. At times when she gets upset, I bring her closer and hold her tight until she herself let go. This role is quite the opposite when it is I, who is in need of a shoulder to cry on. We are parts of each other. Pure and heartfelt.  

Tears fell down my eyes, as I bid goodbye to her as the train was leaving the platform. I didn't wanna come back home. I found it hard to reconnect  after being through the most beautiful journey in my life. I realized then that my home is not where I find shelter, it is where I am accepted - without any judgements. 

There'll be sunshine even after the toughest storm.